We weren’t trying to get pregnant — Writing Prompt #9

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, but I’m actually pretty pregnant right now. But only for a couple more weeks ❤ I’m due on the 15th. This is my first baby, and I’m not sure if this is normal for first-timers but up until this past week, it still has been pretty unreal/surreal (to the point that her room still isn’t ready for her — what can I say, I’m a procrastinator ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). But what changed this past week? A friend of mine just gave birth four days ago. It’s odd, but even though I saw her while pregnant at least once every week, I never really saw past the belly. Now, looking at a photo with a baby on her chest and a tear in her eye, a frying pan has kind of gotten banged over my head.

HANNAH, YOU HAVE A REAL LIVE BABY INSIDE YOU.

A BABY, who looks like a human, who has someone’s eyes or nose, who will have vocal cords and won’t be afraid to prove it. She’s REAL, you guys, and I know that sounds stupid because well, what else has been putting your belly in odd, deformed shapes whenever she gets rowdy? But it was still a bit of a shock to see my friend’s baby was real. Please tell me I’m not the first first-time mom to feel this way?

Anyway, as I get closer to my due date, I become reminiscent on the first time I found out I was pregnant. It’s a longy, so I’ll split this into two posts (with two separate writing prompts for anyone who wants to join in!). Look for my next post on Tuesday 🙂

Share an experience you’ve had that you’ll never forget, good or bad.

My memory:

My husband and I weren’t trying to get pregnant. We weren’t opposed, but we had no intentions of doing so either. That was something that would happen at some point down the road….who knows when. No solid plans.

I was at work when I found out. My cycle was eight days off, but it felt like my normal monthly symptoms were coming on so I wasn’t concerned. My friend who sits just one cube over had other ideas, but I don’t blame her. Any drama at work can seem all-important and 100% necessary to resolve immediately if it means a break from the mundane. Running to Target to buy a pregnancy test that would almost definitely turn out negative was a lot more appealing than continuing with my day. In fact, while we were there, she might have even picked up a few other things. You can imagine how truly important we really thought this was.

We stopped at the private bathrooms near our desks and I went in, pushing her from the door. “You’re not watching me pee just so you can know 2 seconds sooner whether or not I’m pregnant.” The instructions say to wait three minutes and not longer than ten. Three came and went so I called my friend in to show her the negative result. I threw my garbage away and we headed back to my desk, me still clutching at the stick.

When I sat down, the results didn’t look so clear. Was that the faintest of faint lines? I called her back over. “Do you see that?” 

“OMG, yes, I think so.” We are barely breathing our words.

I spent at least an hour searching the internet to find out how many women with a similar experience were truly pregnant. Well, it was all of them. Everyone with a faint second line was truly pregnant.

We raced to Walmart, this time in search of a ClearBlue digital test, thinking it would be the most accurate. My heart was in a different place this time as I took the second test. Now I felt sure I must be pregnant, but how did that make me feel? The three minutes this time took much longer. I was nervous, yes, but not a dreading kind of nervous. Did I want to be pregnant? I wasn’t sure. This was all just so surreal. 

I became sure as soon as I saw the “Not Pregnant” appear on the screen.

I did want to be pregnant. How is this possible? — both tests claim at least 99% accuracy and my time spent searching the internet of other women’s experiences seemed to prove it to be so. I felt such a crashing let down in those moments. I didn’t cry and I tried not to dwell on it; this is the ultimate result I had expected when I’d started the first trip to Target anyway. Why let it bother me?

Long story short, I went to get blood drawn at the lab the next morning, early enough to get there and back to work in time so no one was suspicious. It was a 45 minute drive too so this was quite a feat. I still hadn’t said anything to my husband at this point because I wanted to know for sure. If I was pregnant, I wanted to tell him with confidence so we could truly relish it together. Eight hours after the visit, they called me back. I was in a meeting so I excused myself, leaving my laptop and any other possessions in the dust. There was another meeting room right next door, empty, so I sneaked in for some privacy. 

“Hello, Miss Payne? The results of your test came back positive. Please make sure you f—”

“Positive? That means I AM pregnant, correct?” I knew, but I wasn’t about to let a misunderstanding stand between me and the truth. She didn’t sound congratulatory or anything, so it kind of confused me. Of course she couldn’t be congratulatory in her position, but it threw me anyway.

“Yes, you are pregnant. Congratulations.” My voice must have given away that I did want the baby. “Please make sure you find an OB and see her as soon as possible.”

To be continued!

If you’d like to participate in this story-sharing prompt, use the prompt above to share a memory of your own either in my comments section or on your own blog with a link to it in my comments. And don’t forget to follow me if you enjoy this kind of writing prompt/story-sharing content 🙂